“On Seeing the Elgin Marbles” (by John Keats)

Greek PHD Candidate

I wade through the mobs of people, past the Rosetta stone and many other exhibits. I only have it in my mind to see one thing. Many times my father has spoken of the greatness of our homeland and its people. With this comes the territory of beautiful art. (Art that my people created when the Brits were still swinging from vines.) And yet I had to fly all the way here just to finish my dissertation.

When I finally approach the room I hesitate. Only momentarily, but I need a moment to collect myself. I have seen picture upon picture of this masterpiece but I need to mentally focus upon the fact that I am about to see the real thing. When I have finally collected myself I walk in…and there before me…there it is. I am in such a rush to see it closer that I run into someone and almost tumble over. I stand up straight and continue to walk. It seems as though I am not getting any closer to the statues. I take a deep breath in and rub my eyes. I decide it would be better to observe while I am sitting down, yet I cannot see a bench anywhere. Suddenly the floor rushes up to meet me and fail at trying to hold it in.

Bored American Teenager

I did not come here to look at statue after statue. Just because a place is free does not mean it is worth going to. I tried to convince my mom that it was time for lunch, but she just keeps saying that it is like only 11:00 or something dumb like that. It is not like we haven’t already spent a lot of time here. It has basically been all day. I just want to go to Buckingham Palace to see if I can meet Prince Harry. It is totally a cultural thing anyways. And yet, we keep walking and walking.

We come upon a room that has a butt ton of marble in it. Apparently it used to belong to the Greeks or something. But if it is the Greeks then why don’t they freakin’ take it back. Then I would not be stuck here staring at it. This place totally sucks; a woman just ran into me and didn’t even apologize. Whatever. Why are there so many people here anyways? Everyone up ahead is gathering. Maybe someone famous is here. Then this entire morning would be worth it. Nope, it is just that same dumb lady making a big stink in the middle of the floor. She really needs a make-up check.

Security Guard

Everyday its da same ole thing. I wake up. I eat breakfast. I take the bus. I clock in. I yell at a bunch o stupid bloody tourists for getting too close to the exhibits. I mean there are only so many selfies you can take anyways. I clock out and I go home again. Thrilling. I used to think it was cool to have access to all the old shit after hours and whatnot. I’d bring my lady friends and showboat and whatnot. But now all this shit has stopped having any meaning. It is not like any of this shit belongs to the UK anyways. We just stole it back in the day when there weren’t laws or whatever.

I look over into Elgin Marbles room. Oh great there is a crowd in the middle. If someone got into a fight again I swear I’m gonna… Wait, it is just some lady. I better bring her round back to make sure she ain’t hurt.